Attached: A Look at the Book

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A few months ago I decided to talk with a counselor about an issue I have with relationships. I told him that whenever I meet a guy I'm interested in, and I make the move to approach him but a few days later I do everything I can to get away from him. My behavior bewildered me. I mean, I wanted to be in a relationship and yet I was compelled toward self sabotage mere days after deciding on it.

Concerned, I found a counseling center and explained my troubles. Immediately, he handed me this book:


I'm a real sucker for social psychology, so being handed a book that could explain so prevalent an issue as relationships was like being handed a million dollars. Attached, written by a neuroscientist and a consultant with a master's in social-organizational psychology, outlines the different ways people deal with relationships and how each way helps or hurts relationships and the people involved. It's a clear cut guide with plenty of examples and explanation.

It starts off with pressing that dependency on other people is not a bad thing, and that any healthy relationships involves both parties caring and acting for the other's well being. It also details the three kinds of attachment styles that people have. You can see which you fall under taking an official quiz.

  • Anxious: who draw closer to their partners and use tactics like the silent treatment to get attention.
  • Avoidant: who push away to create an emotional distance and rely too much on the notion of self-reliance.
  • Secure: who willing to stop and talk about their feelings instead of constantly pushing or pulling with no explanation why.

I fall under avoidant, because I close myself off when I meet someone I'm romantically interested in. Luckily no one is stuck in one attachment style. By practicing the principles of effective communication and trust, anyone can work things out. I find that these principles also work for any kind of relationship, be it with friends or with family.

Here they are, quoted directly from page 256 of the book.
  • A single fight is not a relationship breaker.
  • Express your fears! Don't let them dictate their actions. If you're afraid that s/he wants to reject you, say so.
  • Don't assume you are to blame for your partner's bad mood. It is most likely not because of you.
  • Trust that your partner will be caring and responsive and go ahead and express your needs.
  • Don't expect your partner to know what you're thinking. If you haven't told him/her what's on your mind, s/he doesn't know!
  • Don't assume you know what your partner means. When in doubt, ask.

I love psychology because it helps me understand why people act in certain ways and which ways are best to getting along with each other. This book illuminates the social science of love, and I'd recommend that everyone takes the time to read through it.

Who Are These People - #1

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Abstract Face by Bobbi Jones Jones
This past week I've been approached by three different people asking for help with a story they were each developing. Mostly they had a good idea of what they wanted the story to accomplish, but had trouble fleshing out characters. One of them didn't even has a story to tell yet! First I had to fight the urge to be flattered, but I knew what I was going to advise as soon as they asked.

* This is the first of many posts I'll write about character development and share some of my favorite techniques to help you get out of a funk.

Sold! Angsty Harry Potter Hurt/Comfort Fic for $3.99!

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As aspiring writers squeal at the prospects, this blogger worries if Amazon will be getting more than they bargained for. (Image from Flickr)
We've done it, folks. Fanfiction is on its way to becoming a legitimate way to make a few bucks.

Publisher's Weekly announced today that they are working on a new publishing program called Kindle Worlds, where the writers of online fanworks can publish their stories under the same licencing as the creators themselves. It works under a case per case basis however. Right now Amazon has only entered discussion with a few people, like the ones behind Vampire Diaries and the folks at Warner Bros. Launch seems to be sometime in June.

I'll be completely honest and say that I never saw this coming. Ever. I'm part of the generation that grew up on the internet and I've seen how this niche market has grown. I had figured that those waters were just too murky to be made commercial, but trailblazing Amazon has found a way.


Here's the deal for any writers who's interest has been peaked:

  • Under the Kindle World license, Amazon is in charge of the pricing, which ranges from 99 cents to $3.99 depending on story length. Fan authors will receive 35% of the royalties monthly, if there are any at all.
  • Works ranging from 5000 to 10000 words will also be available for 99 cents each. Stories that are 10,000 and up can be sold for a higher price.
  • The World Licensor owns the canon elements, except for any original characters or plot elements you add. 
  • Crossovers(stories which interweave characters and story elements from two separate franchises) will not be allowed because of licencing issues.
  • This is a big one: The World Licensor can use any fan created elements in new works without further compensation to the fic writer.


Overall this feels like a fair deal to both creator and fan, but personally I find a hiccup that last bullet point. One could dismiss it by relating it to a sort of public domain for a beloved franchise, but I like the idea of being included as part of the creative body more than just muttering obsessively, "It was me all along!" while other people take the glory. The good news is I'm not a fanfiction writer, so I'll leave it to the people who have something to lose.

There's one last thing that's worrying me about Kindle Worlds. Does Amazon truly know what they're gotten themselves into? Fanfiction is rife with questionable content and self-serving content. I suppose if there's a more public market for erotica thanks to the notoriety of 50 Shades of Grey, that certain lemon fics will have their demand. The trouble is people will have to own up to writing these kinds of stories. 

I've always thought of fanfiction as the black sheep of the literary family. Regardless of it's wide spread popularity, I don't think I could ever own up to the commercial potential it has. And the breadth of stories available to this project is limited to whoever becomes a World Licensor. Whether or not the available library grows all depends on how popular this program becomes.

But why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?


Sticking Your Toe in Shark Infested Waters

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That's what it feels like in the Editing class I'm taking at Uni. I'm still pretty excited about it, because now I'm getting graded on how well I do managing a revision of a large manuscript. It's the WIP of J Travis Washburn's Inklings, and I'm so thrilled to be getting my hands on it. J's style is fastpaced and thoughtful, and he is an alumni of my university too so you could probably think of it as kindred spirits. I'd recommend keeping an eye out for the non-fiction Inklings and his upcoming YA novel, Ecksdot.

Back to my experiences in the class, I'm learning a lot on maintaining a good editor-author relationship, developmental editing, and how to work in a team on the same project. It's a little tough since I like to lead the way, but another in my working group has a sort of charisma about her that makes her a good leader as well! Regardless, this is amazing practice and I'm very excited for what's next. Reminds me of my friend who just finished a novel called The Human Vaccination. I've been helping her develop it, and she's got big plans for it. If just the title catches your eye, perhaps stick around I'll be sure to talk about updates on its progress.

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You can find out more about J Washburn on his blog: http://www.jwashburn.com/
 
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